Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets ★★☆☆☆

2017 film

Watched 3 November 2017

Like a stuck-in-time sequel to The Fifth Element, keeping all of its bad traits (overt sexism, shallow themes, a messy third act) and none of the good ones (unyielding goofiness, a confident screenplay, Jean Giraud’s iconic designs, Gary Oldman).

About star ratings

My ratings are subjective. I’m not aiming for a perfect ranking of comparative artistic merit, just trying to represent how I feel about stuff. Here’s what they mean:

★★★★★: Personal favorite. I simply love it, warts and all.
★★★★☆: Something special. Highly recommended.
★★★☆☆: Good, but unremarkable. I’ll probably forget about it.
★★☆☆☆: A waste of time. Not recommended.
★☆☆☆☆: Practically insulting. Soulless garbage. (Rare!)